Winter Break Organization Tips

The kids are home from school and cheerfully making messes, everyone and their sister has been at your house, you have been cooking, entertaining, and wrapping for what feels like a century and when you finally have a second to sit down and look up, you realize your house is destroyed! 

Holy S**T!! 

This all might be a bit overwhelming, but it's going to be okay! Your winter break is a perfect time to get your home in order for the New Year. Here are a few areas of the home to consider cleaning out and organizing this time of year:

• Holiday Decorations | Put these away neatly! Get rid of anything broken and donate anything you are over and the rest of it should be stored in an orderly way so you don't cuss yourself next year when it's time to decorate again. 
• Your Bedroom | I've talked about the importance having a space of your own before, so if you haven't read that, please do. I'm talking about your dresser, closet, bathroom, bed... all of it! Get it cleaned out and orderly. 
• Kids' Rooms | The kids probably just got a whole bunch of new stuff for Christmas which means unless they clean out their room and rid them of other things, they are filling up with clutter as we speak. They aren't using all of it and have outgrown much of it so it's time to let go of it! Depending on the age of your kids, your help will vary.
• Kitchen | Go through your cupboards and rid them of anything expired and of things you no longer need and use. None of us need 25 mismatched cups. 
• Laundry Room | No one likes doing laundry, but having to do it in a crappy laundry room makes it even worse. Seriously, I just got depressed thinking about it. Clean that crap out! Chances are, your laundry room has become a catch-all for random junk... Get. Rid. Of. It. 
• The Junk Drawer | You have one. It's filled with chords, menus, random parts to things you no longer own, a broken pencil, and other sad things. Dump it out and start from scratch. 
• Closets | I'm lucky enough to live in a warm part of Arizona, so we don't really have the need for a lot of "winter clothes" storage, but if I did, I would handle it much like holiday decorations. Get rid of what is stained and old and put the rest up in a neat way. Throw some dryer sheets in to keep it fresh! 
• Your Desk/Office | Whether you just have a desk or an entire office, trash anything that is out of date or that you can find online (product manuals for example). Close out your  current year tax file and start a new one and get the rest of your files organized. The top of your desk should be neat, clean, and orderly because that will encourage you to want to be there and will maximize your work time! 
• Your Choice | I don't live with you, so you might know in your heart there is a part of your house that needs your attention. Do it! 

Okay, I know this is a lot... calm down! A cocktail will help, but so will some simple direction! First of all, you are NOT going to get this ALL done in a day, so lose that idea NOW. What you can do is break this into some smaller bites so you can start to eat this dirty, messy, stressful elephant. 

Here we go!!

Step ONE: What needs the MOST urgent attention? Write down the household things above that need to be done in their order of urgency. 

Step TWO: Delegate!!! You don't need to do all of this yourself. If you disagree, we have a LOT more work to do with your life! What can the kids do? What can your partner/spouse do? What can you hire someone else to do? I realize not everyone is financially free enough to hire someone, but you can consider trading or hiring a teenager. This doesn't need to cost a lot! Kids older than five years old can help with a lot of different tasks. The older they are, the more they can (and should) be responsible for helping with! 

Step THREE: START... You have to START! You have your list, you see what you need to do first, so it's time to roll up your sleeves and get going. My advice is to set a timer and remove distractions (phones, computer, etc)... You have X amount of time to get this done! Challenge yourself to stay on task and get it done. 

Step FOUR: You might need a sip of that cocktail at this point. 

Step FIVE: Keep it going... Make a plan that you can follow that will allow you to get these things done over the next week or so. Try doing this with a friend so you hold each other accountable!

I hope this helps you get moving in a positive direction to set your New Year up to be freaking awesome! Share this with your friends and check out my website and Facebook page for more tips and tricks to help you live a positively happy life! 

LOVE LIFE

8 Things to do on Sunday to Have a More Productive Week

It'll be here before you know it...the dreaded Monday morning! Are you ready for it? Are your kids ready for it? I genuinely enjoy Mondays now (because I have tricked myself into it over the years) and you can do the same! 

Mondays set the tone for your week and they do NOT have to be awful. These are a few simple ways you can get your life together on Sunday so your life, home, and family are happier and more peaceful tomorrow morning!

1. Clean up the house | Set a timer and make a game out of it with the kids if it helps, but get things picked up, put away and cleaned so you wake up to an organized home in the morning. Waking up to mess and clutter will set the mood for your day (week, month, LIFE). 
2. Get laundry done | Have the kids bring their laundry to the laundry room and sort it by lights and darks and get going. I have had my kids help (in some capacity) with laundry since they were about 3 or 4 years old. If they're old enough to do their own laundry now, even better! 
3. Meal plan and grocery shop for the week | I have meal cards and a meal board in my kitchen. It is nothing fancy, but it works! The meals are on the front and the ingredients are on the back so making a list for the store is super quick and easy. I let the kids and my husband pick some of the meals (selfishly because decision making is not my strength in life). 
4. Plan kids’ lunches | What days will they buy and what days will they take their lunch? Make your grocery list accordingly.
5. Plan (time block) your week | I use a day planner with daily times from 6 AM to 10 PM. Spend some time planning out your week. I use the time blocking strategy and it works well for me and my life. Look into it if you are struggling with time management. If you don't have a planner - GET ONE.  
6. Spend QUALITY time with your family | Try to have all of these other tasks done in the morning (yes, it can be done). Dragging it out through the day (most likely because you're being distracted) is not an efficient way to handle your to-do list! Get it done so you can enjoy your family! Go outside, go for a walk, play a game... There are so many ideas, but whatever your do, turn off your phone and tune out any other distractions. The only reason to work so hard on keeping things in order is so you can spend more time doing what you love with the people who matter most to you. 
7. Have clothes laid out for tomorrow | This goes for you and the kids. Having 2 daughters can be crazy in the mornings with hair, morning chores, and hormones (yikes). Taking finding the perfect outfit out of the morning ritual makes all of our lives much better. ;-) 
8. Get to bed in time to get 8 hours of rest | If you have an iPhone, you can set a bedtime alarm that will let you know it is time for bed so you get a full 8 hours. If you are a freak who requires less, you can set it accordingly... Also, I am envious of you! 

There you go! Give these things a try and see how it works for you. As always, OF COURSE there might be part of this that will not work for you and your family, so modify it... You know what you need to do! Now you just have to do it!

Happy SUNDAY! Have a GREAT week! 

Helping Our Kids Feel Safe and Injecting the World with LOVE

On February 15, 2018 (a couple days after a school shooting), our youngest daughter called me from school to tell me she was sick and needed to come home. I know the crud was going around, so I rearranged my day and went to get her. She cried and said her head hurt and her nose was runny so we made a quick list of “feel better” items and stopped by the store on our way back to the house. As we were headed home with our chicken and stars soup and Gatorade, Aspen said something that made me realize she’s not super “sick”, but that something was wrong...

“Mom? What happened at that school in Florida? Did someone kill people?”

I was kind of shocked and asked where she heard about that. She told me that her school did a moment of silence and that her teacher briefly explained what happened. To be clear, this is a wonderful school and she has a phenomenal teacher. Details were shared in an age-appropriate way! I might be wrong, but we don’t tell the girls these types of things and they don’t see them because we don’t watch the news with them around. It might be naive of us, but we haven’t quite figured out how to share the ugliness in the world in a way that won’t make them more jaded than young kids need to be. Regardless, she found out, which is ok, and she had questions. She asked if only grownups were killed... then she asked how old the kids were... then she asked who did it and if the cops got him... and then she asked why.

I answered everything honestly. I told her there were grownups and students hurt and killed and that the cops got the bad guy. I told her he will go on trial and the judge/jury will decide his fate. But I got stuck on the WHY question- the best I could tell her was that some people are sick, mean, hurt, and ugly on the inside and they do awful things. I also told her that even though there are bad people, to ALWAYS remember there are MORE GOOD PEOPLE than there are bad. I told her that growing up to be kind, loving, and friendly will be the best thing she can do to help fix the world.

As the conversation was winding down, we were pulling into our driveway and decided to check the barnyard. It’s was rainy day in Arizona and we like to make sure all the animals are ok! As we pulled around back we saw 2 of the horses laying down for a mid-morning rest and we decided to take the chance to go love on “her” horse, Charlie. Charlie was happy to see his little girl and soaked up the love, petting, and scratches! He closed his eyes and kind of melted into Aspen and she melted right back. I snapped a couple pictures randomly before our pony, Rocket, decided to demand my attention which forced me to put my phone down. I watched Aspen as I pet Rocket.... She was so happy.

Aspen wasn’t really so "sick" she needed to come home today, she was really sad and she was scared. Today she felt like she needed to be at home, where she is safe and where she is loved. She needed to ask me some questions and she needed me to make her feel better. As I sat there watching her with Charlie, I kind lost my emotional shit. Look at this innocent little soul we are responsible for raising and sending out into this world! So many thoughts ran through my head... I should homeschool the girls so they’re safe... but my husband and I both work at a college... we can’t lock ourselves away from everything (stores, movies, freeways, churches, schools...), there’s nowhere 100% “safe”. Then I got mad... Who is to blame for this?! What kind of a freaking world are we living in?! ..... Then I realized that BLAME doesn’t solve a damn thing. And that’s just what’s started, hasn’t it? Blame? “Guns are to blame, mental illness is to blame, school security is to blame, video games are to blame....” Here’s the reality folks- HUMANS are to blame. What the hell does that fix?! NOTHING!! Instead of blaming, go out and do something to FIX IT.

Can we fix everything? Nope- there will still be humans around and humans are inherently nutty, but it will inject the world with more GOOD and drown out some of this ugliness which is a WIN in my book!

So what can I/we do?! Well, I, for one, am going to love the heck out of my girls!! Our home will be a safe place for them. They’ll have parents who adore them and expect them to be kind and work hard and help others. They’ll be surrounded with our family and friends who have the same morals and values and they’ll continue to see that there is GOOD in this world. They will see that there is a God who watches them, loves them, and guides them. We will CONTINUE to shelter them from things WE feel aren’t appropriate for the intelligent, independent, self-confident young ladies we are trying to raise. We will show them how to give back without expecting anything in return. We will help them find their purpose! We will also help the students who come into our lives to find THEIR purpose. A purpose-driven life is what people need!! Help your kids (or volunteer to be a mentor if you don’t have kids) with that instead of blaming. People with purpose, heart, and grit don’t hurt others.

As I write this my Aspen girl is taking a little nap in her cozy, safe room. I told her we can go back out to check animals when she wakes up (animals are my therapy, too). I had some time to sit and reflect and write this while our home is quite and peaceful.... I’m far from perfect and there are things I need to do a better job of, so please don’t think that I think, I have it all figured out. I know I don’t.

If you read all of this, thanks. I’ll leave you with a quote that always makes me feel better. I hope it makes your heart happy, too. God bless the innocent lives lost, God bless you, and God bless this beautiful country!

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” To this day, especially in times of ‘disaster,’ I remember my mother’s words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers — so many caring people in this world.” (Fred Rogers

Our Life on a Budget...

This is a pretty personal story, but I am happy to share it if it helps or motivates anyone else…

My husband and I were making what should have been a very comfortable living - But we could NOT figure out where it was all going! Days before our next paycheck, we were out of the "green stuff", so we did what many people do and turned to our credit cards. We turned to them again...and again... and again... You get the point! It was absolute madness! My thought was always, "We make enough to pay it off so it's not a problem." But the truth is that it WAS a problem! A BIG PROBLEM! 

I don't want the credit cards to take all the blame for the stupid we're guilty of, there's more, and in the interest of full disclosure, here it is: 

I bought a beautiful, NEW, $55,000 truck (did I mention she was beautiful) off the lot in 2013. I knew better. I have NEVER bought a vehicle from a dealership before and always prided myself of my ability to find good trucks or SUVs for great prices and then sell them (never traded them in) for a small loss- I even MADE money a couple times! I broke my rule on this one because "we could afford it". By that I mean, we could afford the payments, which, by-the-way, were $900 a month. No that wasn't a typo. Do I need to say more or do get the point? It was DUMB. We also acquired about $13,000 in student loans to fund my husband's bachelor's degree and in the midst of all of this, we racked up about $7500 in taxes that needed to be paid. 

So the grand total of stupid was a whopping $80,293... That's eighty thousand, two hundred and ninety three dollars!!!! 

In August of 2015, I had ENOUGH of not having money when we make a wonderful living! We had been squandering money for over a decade and it was time to stop. I could feel in my heart that something drastic had to be done in order to save my family. 

My husband is an AMAZING man and wonderful provider. He never likes to say "no" to me or our two daughters. He gladly drove his 1997 truck (paid off) so I could have the gorgeous new truck (have I told you guys how beautiful my truck was?), but I know deep down he knew we shouldn't have bought it. Basically I have been the main spouse to handle the finances and he was more than happy to let me, after-all, he really doesn't enjoy it. I had spent a few days silently squirming about our financial situation before I allowed myself to burden him with it. At that moment in this turning point, that was how I viewed it, not because he got angry or anything, just because I didn't want to worry him. I ran all the numbers a hundred times and I knew what had to be done. We needed a financial intervention and I knew right where we had to start... Remember my truck? The beautiful, expensive, BEAUTIFUL one I mentioned earlier? Her name was "Pearl", by-the-way. Well, I decided to sell her. I must pause here for a moment of silence............. Ok, I am better. 

Yes, Pearl had to go and I had to explain to my husband that this had to happen. Let me tell you, he wasn't happy when I first approached him about it. He wanted me to be able to have it and not keeping it hurt him because he thought it hurt me. But here's the deal- On any given day, in any given city, there are thousands of new trucks for sale! Besides, I actually want a bigger on in the future anyway! ;-) Although this decision stung a little bit, and yes, I did have a few spoiled tears, it was the RIGHT thing to do. The truth is that we could afford to make the payments, but we could not afford the truck if we were going to turn this money train around. We were beginning to look at things in a whole different light. It was at this time that I asked my husband for help with our finances. I no longer wanted to have all the responsibility of paying bills and "budgeting" (I put that in quotes because it was FAR from that in reality). I needed his help and his level-headed nature to get this train moving the other direction. He gladly agreed and we moved ahead… We gritted our teeth and got in this fight- TOGETHER. 

Like I said earlier, this turning point came at the end of August of 2015 and on September 16, my beautiful truck went to live with her new owner. He promised to take great care of her and he paid what I was asking. That was a rough two weeks and a great two weeks at the same time. In my heart I knew it had to be done, but sacrifice was not coming easy. During this time I kept crunching numbers, praying and talking with my husband. Although it was bittersweet, I have to say that it felt good! We had a written game plan and that made it easier. I read "The Total Money Makeover", by Dave Ramsey and decided THIS was the perfect plan for us. If you haven’t read it, you NEED to! Head to the library and check it out (that way it's free)! 

Here were the steps we needed to take, but make sure you study up on the "Seven Baby Steps" Dave Ramsey suggests! 

1. I needed a vehicle. Remember, my beautiful truck was gone now. I sold her using a free ad on craigslist (in case you were wondering). I went back to my old ways of buying vehicles which seriously made my kinda nerdy-happy. I found a steal of a deal on Craigslist and got a 2009 loaded Toyota Camry (leather, heated seats, navigation, Bluetooth) for $7000 from a PRIVATE seller (which means no tax and is the only way you should buy a car unless you're a millionaire). Yes, it was a car. I don't drive cars, well, I didn't use to anyway. Here's the hitch - I only had $4000 in cash (another reason I had, had enough!). We were committed to never turning to a lender again so this was a problem. Luckily we have amazing family and my sweet (and thrifty) younger sister lent me the $3000. I knew that we would be able to pay her off in no more than two months, but luckily it ended up only taking one month, almost to the day! I included that $3000 in my debt total. So there I was, driving my paid off CAR with a smile on my face. I have named her “Snowball Ramsey” (You should be able to figure out why by the end of this!) and I love her! She gets 30 miles per gallon (Pearl got 15), I was able to register her for TWO years with what was left of six months of Pearl’s registration and I even got a $55 refund on top of that AND our insurance went down $50/month! Yes, I LOVE “Snowball Ramsey”!
2. All credit cards were cut up!! NO MORE DEBT!! There were no exceptions.
3. We got on a written budget. I have tried these before, but never like this. We do a budget at the beginning of each month now, which was new to both of us. Each month is different so you need to plan accordingly. For example, Christmas, weddings, birthdays, oil changes, clothing needs, salon visits, etc. all vary from month to month. None of them should surprise your budget. I like Dave Ramsey’s envelope system and have paired it with how my brother-in-law budgets (he is also great with money and has been a wonderful mentor). Cash is KING now. I pay our bills using “Bill Pay” from my bank and everything else is in CASH. When the cash is gone, it’s gone! 
4. We needed to increase our income, even though our full-time jobs pay really well, we have pretty easy schedules and could take on more. My husband is a really generous guy and a serious workhorse. He was constantly fixing vehicles for people for free and that had to change… He is still fixing vehicles for people, but he charges now. People still save a lot of money using him and the work is done to perfection. I am able to give horseback riding lessons and have done spray tanning on the side since 2008 so I generate more money that way.
5. We needed to cut back the money going out each month so some sacrifices had to be made. Dish Network ($90/month) was cut and we now use Hulu and Netflix ($20 total/month). We no longer eat out, which we use to do often. Again, there really are no exceptions to this! I now grocery shop once a week and 95% of what I buy is at Walmart. I don’t love shopping there, but the savings are HUGE. They also have a new app call “Savings Catcher” which has given me back $45.00 on a gift card so far (I redeemed it today so it really works). There really is not trick to it, you scan your receipt and they compare your purchases to all local stores and pay you back the difference. I also price-match when I know someone has a better deal. I even got on a coupon website and print coupons for things I am buying. I never buy something just because I have a coupon! Meal planning has become a family affair and is crucial to saving money! I could write an entire blog about that… Maybe I will! Stay tuned! We are a family of four and I spend about $150 a week to buy food and household items.
6. We saved a $1000 emergency fund. This might scare some people who like to have more on hand, but it is part of Dave Ramsey’s “Baby Steps” (this is Step One) and we are committed. This money is in a checking account that I do NOT have a debit card attached to. In other words, it takes some effort to get the money, but it is there if we need it. Don’t have it in cash! You WILL spend it.  
7. We laid out our “Debt Snowball” (another Ramsey term) and began to work it. Basically you list your debts from smallest to largest (interest rate doesn’t matter unless you have two with the same balance, then the higher one goes first). You pay minimum payments of ALL of the debts but the smallest and you attack that one with everything you have. You then roll what you were paying on it to the next one and so on…hence the “snowball” reference. There are people who will tell you this is dumb and mathematically doesn’t make sense… I would ask them this- Are you a millionaire with NO DEBT? If yes, than maybe listen to them, but there is a 99.9% chance they are not so…. I will be doing what Forbes says is PROVEN to work! Besides, research shows paying your debt off is more about behavior than the math. You will see how this plan is paying off for us shortly. *You don’t include your mortgage in the debt snowball… Paying that off early comes later. ;-)
8. We involved our kids. Our girls are 9 and 11 and are old enough to understand some of this. We have involved them in a lot of ways. The girls have their own little budgets and jobs for which they earn money. We teach them to save some, spend some and give some. Dave Ramsey has another book called “Smart Money, Smart kids” which has great ideas in it. I enjoyed it, but knew much of it from my time as an elementary teacher and mama, but it did make me think more seriously about teaching the girls the right way to handle money.
9. We say, “No” a lot more often… No more going out with friends to do things that cost money…. No more trips… No more buying things just because we want them. The only things we spend money on right now are legitimate needs. Our friends have been awesome about this and some are even doing it along with us! Truthfully, anyone who tries to sabotage you needs to be shown the door for many reasons! We know these are temporary sacrifices and have made them with happy hearts. Our family is closer than ever because we do more meaningful things together. Today we packed a picnic lunch and went out on an adventure and last night the girls trick-or-treated in homemade Halloween costumes! Having no extra dinero makes you get creative!
10. We sold a LOT of stuff! In addition to my beautiful, gorgeous amazing truck, we sold everything else we could including another broken down truck the husband had plans for, a rifle, a laptop and clothes. This brought in a good amount that we put towards our debt snowball.
11. We give thanks for EVERYTHING we have. We help everyone we can. We volunteer our skills and time to people in need and we LOVE OUR LIVES!

So that’s where we are in our “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH” journey. To date (September to November), we have paid off $51,853 and should be completely debt free by June of 2016. Dave Ramsey’s third baby step is to increase your $1000 emergency fund to included three to six months of expenses and our plan/goal is to have that done by January of 2017!

Update: We are DEBT FREE as of August 2016!!!

Important note: One thing that we realized more than ever before is that MONEY is not what makes you HAPPY. Faith, family and friends are what we live for and what puts the smile on our faces! Having your basic needs met provides comfort and anything on top of that is a bonus. LOVE YOUR LIFE!!!!!

*Disclaimers: I am not perfect, nor do I claim to be. I am certain we will stumble, but we will be ok! You might make more than us, you might make less, but make this about YOUR financial goals, not mine. We are all very different and this is what worked for us! Next- we will pay off our house! 

Make Your Bed!

Recently I teamed up with a colleague of mine and gave a presentation to our college about the benefits of bringing happiness to work. We gave reasons why happiness is relevant to those of us who work in a college atmosphere and how it will help the entire hierarchy if we all do our part to foster its existence. Regardless of where you work, the need for happiness is important! It transcends job titles, place of employment, rank or income... Plain and simple, happy employees are a necessity if you want to run a successful business! So what if you don't run a business? You're not left out of this! Happiness is a necessity for those of us who wish to live an amazing life! We have to find our HAPPY!

So there you go. Just be happy.

What? You expected more? Fair enough... I will share with you one way (that works for me) to incorporate more happiness into life… Have a sacred space.

A sacred space is just a fancy way of saying an area that is all your own; One that you can go to and unwind, relax, decompress, pray, meditate, or just BE. Your space should be personal and representative of you. Although I am focusing on a specific area here, I encourage you to have all of your “spaces” in order. I am talking about your home, your vehicle, your office… You get the point! Personally, I prefer to have my spaces decorated in colors and patterns that I enjoy and I also tend to be more productive and more relaxed after being in a space that is extremely well organized and clean. I think you should ALWAYS MAKE YOUR BED! This should become a habit because in my opinion it sets the tone for your day! I really like fresh flowers, their pretty colors, the way they smell and the "pretty" they add to life, so as often as possible I surround myself with them. I also enjoy burning scented candles and so I keep a lot of handmade soy candles from a local boutique on hand. Although these little tips are great ways to keep your surroundings pretty, you might still care to have a sacred space that you can escape to when you feel like it! 

Here are three things to consider as you designate a space to help make you happy:

1. Choose a spot that is able to be fairly private for you (and your partner if you have one). If you are a parent, this can be a little difficult, but I urge you to stay firm to it. Personally, we do not allow kid “paraphernalia” in our bedroom (I am not talking about the early months when an infant sleeps in a bassinet in your room). That is our space and when the rest of the house falls apart, let's face it, it will if you have children, you have an area you can go to and shut the door to regroup. Your children need the same type of space and need to learn independence at the same time.

The other day while in my oldest daughter's room, I noticed that she had used a marker to color on the sound machine that is next to her bed. She has slept with white noise since she was an infant, and continues to require it to this day. I noticed that it had some turquoise flowers and pink dots drawn on its white surface and I asked her why. She told me because she did not think it was very pretty, so she decided to decorate it and make it look nicer next to her bed. It was pretty and I was proud of her for improving her space in a way she liked. No real harm was done… I am not condoning destructive behavior! ;-)

2. You don't need to limit it to one place; you can have a few spots that are your own! I have decorated my office at work so that I enjoy being in the space when I am there. I spend a lot of time in my office and it is a representation of me. I do not want people to walk in and think, "Wow, this is a mess!" I want to be the person who sets the tone for the energy in my office, I want students and other staff to come in and enjoy the experience and I want my happiness to be represented by the space around me.

In addition to our bedroom and my office, I have an outdoor space that I enjoy as well. It is the perfect spot to sit and listen to the birds and watch my horse out in his corral. I can see my girls playing with their wagon, swinging or playing tether ball and listen to them laugh and talk. (I can also hear them yell at each other… It is not always a utopia! Haha!)

Decide where your space or spaces can be and begin to make them your own.

3. Once you have your sacred space(s) established, or maybe you already have one, it is time to utilize it to foster happiness in your life! Sometimes it is nice just to BE. That’s right, just be. You don't necessarily have to be doing anything! Just sit in the space and take in everything around you. Be alone (this means no phone) with yourself and your thoughts and allow yourself to get centered. You can also use this space to meditate or write in your gratitude journal.

The most important thing is that you feel relaxed and happy in this area. No negative thoughts or emotions should be permitted to accompany you here! If something negative comes to mind, put a positive spin on it if at all possible, or simply remind yourself that right now you are choosing to be happy and only allowing thoughts that fill you with happiness. That might take some training, but it can be done. I am not suggesting that you should never have a negative thought. You will and that is normal, but try to use this space and your time there in a way to make yourself happy, not worry or dwell on things you are concerned about. You get to set the "rules" for your space so what will they be? 

Here is a picture of one of my favorite places! 

Good luck creating a sacred space of your own. I hope that this gave you some simple ideas how you can foster happiness and LOVE LIFE!  

Kick Life in the Throat!

Life is running smoothly, people around you are happy, you are genuinely feeling good and have found your happiness pace, and then – Bam! Life sneaks up from behind and smacks you in the back of the head. I admit that there have been times when this has happened to me and I felt like laying down and tapping out of the fight. Luckily, that feeling typically doesn't last very long. I am fortunate to be surrounded by strong people who don't let me wallow in self-pity for very long and I am a fighter by birth. I understand that some people are more passive and can be really affected by negative occurrences in life. No matter how strong we are, all of us can all benefit from some strategies that will help us get back up and rejoin the fight!

So what do you do when life bites you? My answer is simple: Kick life in the throat!

Let's face it, there are a myriad of things that can be viewed as curve balls thrown at you in life: Illnesses, unruly children, idiots at work, bad people, bad news, a broken nail, extra pounds on the scale, a husband who won't take out the trash, an unexpected bill.... The list goes on and I'm sure that each of you reading this could name another 50 things I could add. The fact of the matter is this- life is not always peaches and cream; Sometimes it can be a real pain in the a**! How you choose to handle these trying situations will determine how happy the life you are living is going to be. Let me give you some ideas that you can use to "throw some dirt on it" when you are facing life's difficulties and challenges:

1. Find your tough friends and family! You know who I'm talking about…The people in your life who, if you needed them to, would form a posse and fight to the death for you. These people are strong and tenacious and will definitely help pull you up by your bootstraps.  

2. Remember that you are worth fighting for and recognize the value you bring to the world! If you are a truly good person, you don’t deserve being made to feel less than that by anyone. If something or someone has wronged you, be a straight arrow and face the situation head-on. When someone upsets you or treats you badly, be honest with that person (in a sensitive way of course). Harboring anger and resentment is only going to make you feel worse. This is not a permit to be overly sensitive and whiny about everything people in your life do "wrong". Do not expect your friends and family to be perfect. They aren't, and neither are you.

3. If you wronged somebody, even by accident, say sorry – and mean it. We all make mistakes. Owning yours will make you feel better than creating a bunch of anger around something that was your fault to begin with.

4. Laugh! Watch a funny movie or spend some time with a friend that keeps you in stitches. There are not many better cures than laughter.

5. Downshift! If you are running on all cylinders and have drained your energy to the level of nonexistent, it is time for a break. You might need to remove yourself from people (so you don't literally kick anyone in the throat) and enjoy some silence.

6. Get a diet lemonade from Chick-fil-A. They're yummy! If your day was extraordinarily challenging, throw a splash of vodka in it. We won't judge you.

7. Understand your hormones. Ladies, we all know what I mean here. It might behoove you to identify where your anger is coming from. Was what happened as bad as you think or is your body exacerbating the anger? ;-)

8. Ignore the idiots. The world is riddled with people who have less than average intelligence and an overall lack of common sense. Try to dismiss them and remind yourself that you are not responsible for their stupidity. No, this isn’t very “nice”, but it is true. There is no sense in getting upset by people who don’t know what they’re talking about.

9. Remember that everything you face is meant for something greater. You are in the situation and are invariably going to learn some type of a lesson that will help you for something you will have to handle in your life. While some of these tests and trails can be painful, the payoff is usually amazing. Show life that you are not afraid to get your hands dirty and kick a little butt.

10. Pray. Give thanks for everything that is going well in your life and ask for a little guidance in handling situations that are proving to be difficult.

11. Delete toxic people and situations from your life. If you’re seeing a reoccurring pattern from the same person, it might be time to reevaluate the friendship. You should have far more good times with people than those that upset you. If there is a situation that keeps causing you angst, get rid of it!

12. Meditate. I know this might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but it works for me. I like short, guided meditations. They help bring me back to reality and calm down with things get a bit hectic. If you don’t like to meditate, no worries! You might try taking a quiet walk (to a calm, quiet place if available) and take some deep breaths.

13. Do something nice for someone else. Granted, life might be testing you and you might not feel like you have anything to give... That is when giving is the most powerful! Do something nice for someone who can’t repay you and might not even know you were behind the treat they unexpectedly received.

14. Exercise! Go for a run, swim, ride your bike, do 100 jumping jacks… MOVE YOUR BODY! The endorphins created by exercise will help clear your head and motivate you. I get some of my best ideas while I am jogging. It is my therapy!

Well, do you feel any better? I hope so! I truly believe that once you show life you are not easily picked on or knocked down, you are going to see some amazing changes. Life is beautiful! There are going to be hard times and that's ok because you can handle them. Be strong, fight for your happiness and LOVE LIFE!!! 

Chase Your Hamster!

My youngest daughter is relentless. She recently turned eight years old and after having her request for a pet hamster repeatedly declined by her dad and me, she took to her iPad, videoing pitiful pleas for a guinea pig or hamster for a birthday present. She sent the videos to my sisters and a good friend (notorious suckers) without me knowing. In no time I was receiving text messages from them asking if they could get her a hamster! To make a long story short, my family would not take "no" for an answer. They said that she was simply too convincing in her videos and they HAD to get her this special gift. After some consideration, her dad and I decided to allow it. I promise we are not typically pushover parents! We draw a hard line and expect our girls to follow what we say….99% of the time. I am not trying to condoning her tricky behavior in this situation, but there was something that struck me about her sincere desire for a pet hamster... I just couldn't deny her the wish. Truthfully, I saw a little bit of myself in her and I couldn't help but be a little bit proud of her determination.

Aspen wanted hamster- period. She had wanted one for a couple months and really set her mind to the fact that she was going to have one. There was no telling her "no". It was a dream and a wish she had created for herself and she was determined to see it through. She was relentless in her pursuit of her pet hamster! I could relate... There have been many times in my life that I have wanted something and set out to achieve it. I refused to acknowledge any reasons why it might not happen. I was relentless in my pursuit of dreams and goals and because I was never good at taking "no" for an answer or even telling myself no, I typically get what I set out to achieve. I have obtained many "hamsters" in my life, and I am proud of that. And YES, it's okay to be proud of yourself!

When you have a dream or desire in your heart, the only way to achieve it is to muster up a relentless, take-no-prisoners attitude and put all of your energy and focus into making your dream a reality. You have to chase your "hamster", but sometimes we need a little push (or a huge shove) to get after it. Well, here's your push!! It's time to find your "hamster" and chase that booger down!

I will share with you a few things that I do when I am in pursuit of a new goal or dream, but keep in mind there are many strategies you can use that successful (and happy) people employ in their day-to-day lives. These are just some simple ideas to get the ball rolling.

First, I suggest creating a vision board. There are countless ideas for making these out there and you can pick one that works for you. I suggest making it so that it is meaningful and representative of your style, there really is no right or wrong way to make one. It simply is a place where you can display items and have the flexibility to change them as you wish. You won't want to glue things down to it because you can’t change them as your dreams and goals evolve. Mine is decorated in the same colors as my bedroom and is magnetic. The magnets allow me to switch pictures when I come up with a new goal or dream or when I need to take something down that I have achieved (I never throw them away!). I have it hung next to my bed so that I am able to see it every day- a constant reminder of what I want from life.

There are a couple guidelines that I would suggest following: One is to never post something that you don't want on the board. For example, if you don't want to over eat, do not post a picture of yourself with a pig snout drawn on your face to shame yourself away from food. Instead, post a picture of yourself looking healthy after making good choices with food, a picture of someone you hope to look like, or simply post the words “healthy eater”. Always keep your board positive, bringing to life what you do want, not what you don't want. The other tip is to take time and size out of the equation. No dream is too big and time is irrelevant. You don’t need to know how long something will take to achieve (I respect that this can be a difficult concept). Earl Nightingale said, “Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway. ” Your job is simply to dream – without limits.

I am as clear as I can possibly be about what it is I want to obtain or achieve. If it is a physical item, like a new camera, purse, house or vehicle, print a picture of it and put it on your vision board. If there are phrases or scriptures with messages that you want to encourage in your life, put those on your board. Be clear and don’t restrict yourself! Although you can use your board to get material items, don't limit it to that alone. I have the word “HAPPINESS” at the top of my board. That is something I will never take down even though I am happy.

Once you have your goals and dreams visually displayed for you to see daily, it is time to take some steps in the direction of achieving them. Each item on your board might require different steps in order to achieve it. You need to put some action behind your desires! If you want leaner body, it's time to start living like that is what you want! If you want to change careers, it is time to look into what will be required to do that and start taking steps in that direction. If you want a new purse, start seeing yourself with it and saving some money. Some people believe that wanting something is enough action, but I prefer a more proactive approach. Putting action behind your dreams makes them more tangible and will create opportunities in your life to bring them to you sooner than you could hope.  

Here are a couple more tips for making your dreams come true and having a happy life:

• I believe that greater things will happen to you if you are not selfish in all of your dreams. Look for opportunities to help others chase their hamsters, too!
• Be THANKFUL for what you already have. I thank God for what I have and who I am daily. I pray to be the best me I can be and to be able to help other people however I can.
• Look for opportunities to do “good” in the world. Practice excellence and be an example to others (especially if you are a parent).
• Stay organized and clean. If you do not take good care of what you already have, you won’t be given more.

My daughter is truly enjoying her pet hamster who has been named “Buttercup”. There is nothing quite like the feeling of getting something you really want after your relentlessness pays off! Now it is your turn - Chase your hamster and LOVE YOUR LIFE!