Make Your Bed!

Recently I teamed up with a colleague of mine and gave a presentation to our college about the benefits of bringing happiness to work. We gave reasons why happiness is relevant to those of us who work in a college atmosphere and how it will help the entire hierarchy if we all do our part to foster its existence. Regardless of where you work, the need for happiness is important! It transcends job titles, place of employment, rank or income... Plain and simple, happy employees are a necessity if you want to run a successful business! So what if you don't run a business? You're not left out of this! Happiness is a necessity for those of us who wish to live an amazing life! We have to find our HAPPY!

So there you go. Just be happy.

What? You expected more? Fair enough... I will share with you one way (that works for me) to incorporate more happiness into life… Have a sacred space.

A sacred space is just a fancy way of saying an area that is all your own; One that you can go to and unwind, relax, decompress, pray, meditate, or just BE. Your space should be personal and representative of you. Although I am focusing on a specific area here, I encourage you to have all of your “spaces” in order. I am talking about your home, your vehicle, your office… You get the point! Personally, I prefer to have my spaces decorated in colors and patterns that I enjoy and I also tend to be more productive and more relaxed after being in a space that is extremely well organized and clean. I think you should ALWAYS MAKE YOUR BED! This should become a habit because in my opinion it sets the tone for your day! I really like fresh flowers, their pretty colors, the way they smell and the "pretty" they add to life, so as often as possible I surround myself with them. I also enjoy burning scented candles and so I keep a lot of handmade soy candles from a local boutique on hand. Although these little tips are great ways to keep your surroundings pretty, you might still care to have a sacred space that you can escape to when you feel like it! 

Here are three things to consider as you designate a space to help make you happy:

1. Choose a spot that is able to be fairly private for you (and your partner if you have one). If you are a parent, this can be a little difficult, but I urge you to stay firm to it. Personally, we do not allow kid “paraphernalia” in our bedroom (I am not talking about the early months when an infant sleeps in a bassinet in your room). That is our space and when the rest of the house falls apart, let's face it, it will if you have children, you have an area you can go to and shut the door to regroup. Your children need the same type of space and need to learn independence at the same time.

The other day while in my oldest daughter's room, I noticed that she had used a marker to color on the sound machine that is next to her bed. She has slept with white noise since she was an infant, and continues to require it to this day. I noticed that it had some turquoise flowers and pink dots drawn on its white surface and I asked her why. She told me because she did not think it was very pretty, so she decided to decorate it and make it look nicer next to her bed. It was pretty and I was proud of her for improving her space in a way she liked. No real harm was done… I am not condoning destructive behavior! ;-)

2. You don't need to limit it to one place; you can have a few spots that are your own! I have decorated my office at work so that I enjoy being in the space when I am there. I spend a lot of time in my office and it is a representation of me. I do not want people to walk in and think, "Wow, this is a mess!" I want to be the person who sets the tone for the energy in my office, I want students and other staff to come in and enjoy the experience and I want my happiness to be represented by the space around me.

In addition to our bedroom and my office, I have an outdoor space that I enjoy as well. It is the perfect spot to sit and listen to the birds and watch my horse out in his corral. I can see my girls playing with their wagon, swinging or playing tether ball and listen to them laugh and talk. (I can also hear them yell at each other… It is not always a utopia! Haha!)

Decide where your space or spaces can be and begin to make them your own.

3. Once you have your sacred space(s) established, or maybe you already have one, it is time to utilize it to foster happiness in your life! Sometimes it is nice just to BE. That’s right, just be. You don't necessarily have to be doing anything! Just sit in the space and take in everything around you. Be alone (this means no phone) with yourself and your thoughts and allow yourself to get centered. You can also use this space to meditate or write in your gratitude journal.

The most important thing is that you feel relaxed and happy in this area. No negative thoughts or emotions should be permitted to accompany you here! If something negative comes to mind, put a positive spin on it if at all possible, or simply remind yourself that right now you are choosing to be happy and only allowing thoughts that fill you with happiness. That might take some training, but it can be done. I am not suggesting that you should never have a negative thought. You will and that is normal, but try to use this space and your time there in a way to make yourself happy, not worry or dwell on things you are concerned about. You get to set the "rules" for your space so what will they be? 

Here is a picture of one of my favorite places! 

Good luck creating a sacred space of your own. I hope that this gave you some simple ideas how you can foster happiness and LOVE LIFE!  

Kick Life in the Throat!

Life is running smoothly, people around you are happy, you are genuinely feeling good and have found your happiness pace, and then – Bam! Life sneaks up from behind and smacks you in the back of the head. I admit that there have been times when this has happened to me and I felt like laying down and tapping out of the fight. Luckily, that feeling typically doesn't last very long. I am fortunate to be surrounded by strong people who don't let me wallow in self-pity for very long and I am a fighter by birth. I understand that some people are more passive and can be really affected by negative occurrences in life. No matter how strong we are, all of us can all benefit from some strategies that will help us get back up and rejoin the fight!

So what do you do when life bites you? My answer is simple: Kick life in the throat!

Let's face it, there are a myriad of things that can be viewed as curve balls thrown at you in life: Illnesses, unruly children, idiots at work, bad people, bad news, a broken nail, extra pounds on the scale, a husband who won't take out the trash, an unexpected bill.... The list goes on and I'm sure that each of you reading this could name another 50 things I could add. The fact of the matter is this- life is not always peaches and cream; Sometimes it can be a real pain in the a**! How you choose to handle these trying situations will determine how happy the life you are living is going to be. Let me give you some ideas that you can use to "throw some dirt on it" when you are facing life's difficulties and challenges:

1. Find your tough friends and family! You know who I'm talking about…The people in your life who, if you needed them to, would form a posse and fight to the death for you. These people are strong and tenacious and will definitely help pull you up by your bootstraps.  

2. Remember that you are worth fighting for and recognize the value you bring to the world! If you are a truly good person, you don’t deserve being made to feel less than that by anyone. If something or someone has wronged you, be a straight arrow and face the situation head-on. When someone upsets you or treats you badly, be honest with that person (in a sensitive way of course). Harboring anger and resentment is only going to make you feel worse. This is not a permit to be overly sensitive and whiny about everything people in your life do "wrong". Do not expect your friends and family to be perfect. They aren't, and neither are you.

3. If you wronged somebody, even by accident, say sorry – and mean it. We all make mistakes. Owning yours will make you feel better than creating a bunch of anger around something that was your fault to begin with.

4. Laugh! Watch a funny movie or spend some time with a friend that keeps you in stitches. There are not many better cures than laughter.

5. Downshift! If you are running on all cylinders and have drained your energy to the level of nonexistent, it is time for a break. You might need to remove yourself from people (so you don't literally kick anyone in the throat) and enjoy some silence.

6. Get a diet lemonade from Chick-fil-A. They're yummy! If your day was extraordinarily challenging, throw a splash of vodka in it. We won't judge you.

7. Understand your hormones. Ladies, we all know what I mean here. It might behoove you to identify where your anger is coming from. Was what happened as bad as you think or is your body exacerbating the anger? ;-)

8. Ignore the idiots. The world is riddled with people who have less than average intelligence and an overall lack of common sense. Try to dismiss them and remind yourself that you are not responsible for their stupidity. No, this isn’t very “nice”, but it is true. There is no sense in getting upset by people who don’t know what they’re talking about.

9. Remember that everything you face is meant for something greater. You are in the situation and are invariably going to learn some type of a lesson that will help you for something you will have to handle in your life. While some of these tests and trails can be painful, the payoff is usually amazing. Show life that you are not afraid to get your hands dirty and kick a little butt.

10. Pray. Give thanks for everything that is going well in your life and ask for a little guidance in handling situations that are proving to be difficult.

11. Delete toxic people and situations from your life. If you’re seeing a reoccurring pattern from the same person, it might be time to reevaluate the friendship. You should have far more good times with people than those that upset you. If there is a situation that keeps causing you angst, get rid of it!

12. Meditate. I know this might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but it works for me. I like short, guided meditations. They help bring me back to reality and calm down with things get a bit hectic. If you don’t like to meditate, no worries! You might try taking a quiet walk (to a calm, quiet place if available) and take some deep breaths.

13. Do something nice for someone else. Granted, life might be testing you and you might not feel like you have anything to give... That is when giving is the most powerful! Do something nice for someone who can’t repay you and might not even know you were behind the treat they unexpectedly received.

14. Exercise! Go for a run, swim, ride your bike, do 100 jumping jacks… MOVE YOUR BODY! The endorphins created by exercise will help clear your head and motivate you. I get some of my best ideas while I am jogging. It is my therapy!

Well, do you feel any better? I hope so! I truly believe that once you show life you are not easily picked on or knocked down, you are going to see some amazing changes. Life is beautiful! There are going to be hard times and that's ok because you can handle them. Be strong, fight for your happiness and LOVE LIFE!!! 

Chase Your Hamster!

My youngest daughter is relentless. She recently turned eight years old and after having her request for a pet hamster repeatedly declined by her dad and me, she took to her iPad, videoing pitiful pleas for a guinea pig or hamster for a birthday present. She sent the videos to my sisters and a good friend (notorious suckers) without me knowing. In no time I was receiving text messages from them asking if they could get her a hamster! To make a long story short, my family would not take "no" for an answer. They said that she was simply too convincing in her videos and they HAD to get her this special gift. After some consideration, her dad and I decided to allow it. I promise we are not typically pushover parents! We draw a hard line and expect our girls to follow what we say….99% of the time. I am not trying to condoning her tricky behavior in this situation, but there was something that struck me about her sincere desire for a pet hamster... I just couldn't deny her the wish. Truthfully, I saw a little bit of myself in her and I couldn't help but be a little bit proud of her determination.

Aspen wanted hamster- period. She had wanted one for a couple months and really set her mind to the fact that she was going to have one. There was no telling her "no". It was a dream and a wish she had created for herself and she was determined to see it through. She was relentless in her pursuit of her pet hamster! I could relate... There have been many times in my life that I have wanted something and set out to achieve it. I refused to acknowledge any reasons why it might not happen. I was relentless in my pursuit of dreams and goals and because I was never good at taking "no" for an answer or even telling myself no, I typically get what I set out to achieve. I have obtained many "hamsters" in my life, and I am proud of that. And YES, it's okay to be proud of yourself!

When you have a dream or desire in your heart, the only way to achieve it is to muster up a relentless, take-no-prisoners attitude and put all of your energy and focus into making your dream a reality. You have to chase your "hamster", but sometimes we need a little push (or a huge shove) to get after it. Well, here's your push!! It's time to find your "hamster" and chase that booger down!

I will share with you a few things that I do when I am in pursuit of a new goal or dream, but keep in mind there are many strategies you can use that successful (and happy) people employ in their day-to-day lives. These are just some simple ideas to get the ball rolling.

First, I suggest creating a vision board. There are countless ideas for making these out there and you can pick one that works for you. I suggest making it so that it is meaningful and representative of your style, there really is no right or wrong way to make one. It simply is a place where you can display items and have the flexibility to change them as you wish. You won't want to glue things down to it because you can’t change them as your dreams and goals evolve. Mine is decorated in the same colors as my bedroom and is magnetic. The magnets allow me to switch pictures when I come up with a new goal or dream or when I need to take something down that I have achieved (I never throw them away!). I have it hung next to my bed so that I am able to see it every day- a constant reminder of what I want from life.

There are a couple guidelines that I would suggest following: One is to never post something that you don't want on the board. For example, if you don't want to over eat, do not post a picture of yourself with a pig snout drawn on your face to shame yourself away from food. Instead, post a picture of yourself looking healthy after making good choices with food, a picture of someone you hope to look like, or simply post the words “healthy eater”. Always keep your board positive, bringing to life what you do want, not what you don't want. The other tip is to take time and size out of the equation. No dream is too big and time is irrelevant. You don’t need to know how long something will take to achieve (I respect that this can be a difficult concept). Earl Nightingale said, “Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway. ” Your job is simply to dream – without limits.

I am as clear as I can possibly be about what it is I want to obtain or achieve. If it is a physical item, like a new camera, purse, house or vehicle, print a picture of it and put it on your vision board. If there are phrases or scriptures with messages that you want to encourage in your life, put those on your board. Be clear and don’t restrict yourself! Although you can use your board to get material items, don't limit it to that alone. I have the word “HAPPINESS” at the top of my board. That is something I will never take down even though I am happy.

Once you have your goals and dreams visually displayed for you to see daily, it is time to take some steps in the direction of achieving them. Each item on your board might require different steps in order to achieve it. You need to put some action behind your desires! If you want leaner body, it's time to start living like that is what you want! If you want to change careers, it is time to look into what will be required to do that and start taking steps in that direction. If you want a new purse, start seeing yourself with it and saving some money. Some people believe that wanting something is enough action, but I prefer a more proactive approach. Putting action behind your dreams makes them more tangible and will create opportunities in your life to bring them to you sooner than you could hope.  

Here are a couple more tips for making your dreams come true and having a happy life:

• I believe that greater things will happen to you if you are not selfish in all of your dreams. Look for opportunities to help others chase their hamsters, too!
• Be THANKFUL for what you already have. I thank God for what I have and who I am daily. I pray to be the best me I can be and to be able to help other people however I can.
• Look for opportunities to do “good” in the world. Practice excellence and be an example to others (especially if you are a parent).
• Stay organized and clean. If you do not take good care of what you already have, you won’t be given more.

My daughter is truly enjoying her pet hamster who has been named “Buttercup”. There is nothing quite like the feeling of getting something you really want after your relentlessness pays off! Now it is your turn - Chase your hamster and LOVE YOUR LIFE! 

Surround Yourself With Strength

Each of us has a talent- something that we are exceptionally good at doing that comes naturally and doesn't necessarily require an immense amount of practice (although practice truly does make perfect). Some of us are better at recognizing what our God-given talents are than others, but just because you can’t see all of yours doesn't mean that you don't have any. Knowing what your gifts are and what makes you happy are crucial ingredients to creating a beautiful life.

Personally, I have found that surrounding myself with people who are far more talented than I could ever dream of being has inspired me to look more closely at what my inherent gifts are and cultivate those on a daily basis. It also gives me a strong sense of respect for those around me. Here are a few easy steps to follow on your path to nurturing your gifts and loving life:

First, identify your talents. What are you good at? If you are able to list your inborn gifts, you are already ahead of the game! If you can’t, try asking your close friends and family to answer that question for you. They can easily share some of your natural gifts with you. If you are one who can't see any of these talents yourself, you probably should ask, and ask soon! It is important to know what you are good at and what you enjoy in life, otherwise, how will you create a life you love to live?

Is your talent dancing, playing sports, cooking, crafting, blogging, writing, accounting, parenting, sewing, teaching, helping others, making people laugh, fixing things, building or creating (or anything I haven't included on this list!)? Of course, you will more than likely find that you have multiple strengths, and when you combine those with things you actually love to do, you will be on your way to loving your life even more than you already do!

Second, identify what you enjoy doing. There can be a difference between what you're good at and what you enjoy. For example, I am good at cooking, but I don't enjoy it (I really dislike the cleanup) and would never want to do it as a profession! You can still mark these talents among your strengths, but choose not to pursue them in life as a career or hobby.

Third, once you have identified your talents and things that you truly enjoy doing, you need to surround yourself with people who are already doing those things and are great at them! People who inspire and motivate you to be a better person! Find the people in your life who are great at the things you love and enjoy and study their habits. Ask them for their advice and ask them to mentor you! You will be surprised at how many people would happily assist you and offer their insight. Strong people help other people. It is just that simple! Find these people however you can. Seek them out in your job and your personal life and begin to utilize their expertise and insight to better yourself. Now I want to be clear, in no way am I saying you should strive to be someone else! Quite the contrary! I am saying you should strive to be the best YOU possible and use others as motivation to get there.

Do not be discouraged if you are met with resistance by some people you turn to for help. Not everyone is strong enough to mentor others and some can feel truly threatened by the request. That is okay! There will be a dream killers along the way- people who are threatened by your ambition. There will be times that you have to realize your own independence and seek alternative paths to your success and happiness. And guess what…That is OKAY! It will only make you a stronger person in the long run. Just remember how it feels when people do this sort of thing to your dreams and be sure to never do that to someone else's when you are asked for help. Whenever you have the opportunity, inspire and help as many people as you can and do it with a happy and grateful heart. The return will be tenfold and you will be one step closer to loving your life!

Your final step is simply putting this into motion. One foot in front of the other, one day at a time. Find your happiness and chase it with everything that you are. LOVE LIFE!